The Story

“Way to go dummy, you finally got what you wanted! Look where it got you! Darkness.” 

Gaaadddd….. how I loved that cat. I never knew why, I just knew I loved him. Something about him was other worldly and I couldn’t explain it, I just knew I had to take him when the time came and I had to love him. I wasn’t even sure why, I just “had to”. I now know why.

He came, he taught, he left. And just like that our lives were irrevocably changed forever, especially mine.

The Gift

Ok, so this is the story. My mother was in a major car accident years back and she is still not doing well. It doesn’t help that it debilitated her physically and mentally, now being confined to the house, a prisoner not just in her home, but in her body. So my wife and I thought we need to get her a friend she can take care of, something easy like a cat. We looked but all the good ones are expensive and a street cat just wasn’t going to do.

A few days before new years, my friend Laura comes back into town to visit her family, and as always, they go visit all the animals at the local shelter. They never adopt any of them, except this time it was different. I received a picture of Lewis, as she tells me she is going to get him! I’m shocked, but happy, he’s such a beautiful boy, and a Bengal at the shelter is unheard of! Happiness flows all around. They take him home to celebrate the start of a wonderful year with his new family. Except it doesn’t go according to plan, as is usually the case. 

New years day I get a call way too early in the morning with Laura freaking out telling me he was playing with the other cats and roughed them up so bad that they won’t come out of hiding, the entire family is freaking out and he has to go back to the shelter, unless I would take him. I felt bad for the boy, and it just happens to be that we were in the market for a cat so I said YES without hesitation!

They show up to the front door within the hour, drop him off, wish us a happy new years and they leave. We pack him up asap and head out to see my parents to give my mother her new best friend!

The Problem

Days go by at his new home and he will not stop meowing. He’s acting normal otherwise, but just will not stop meowing. Day, night, it didn’t matter, will not stop meowing. He eats, he sleeps, he meows. We call the vet, she says its normal and to give him time and buy him some stuff that should help. So I buy stuff, lots of stuff. New food, raw food, pheromones, spray stuff, new toys, treats, cat trees, even got him a giant exercise wheel he never used. NOTHING! What do we do now?

Off to the vet we go! She runs every test, comes up with nothing. Tells me he’s just “vocal” and he needs stimulation. Well, she wasn’t wrong, except the type of stimulation he needed wasn’t something we wanted to give him, and that was for him to be outside. We found this out when he one day he slid the second floor window open, pushed out the screen, and jumped to his freedom. Turns out Lewis is an outdoor cat and he was just not going to be imprisoned in a house for the rest of his life! 

Well we looked for him, found him, and brought him back, only for him to find another window and do it again, and again. There was just no way we were going to keep him indoors. So finally we agreed to let him out and hope he comes back on his own. What do you know, he does! So for the next few weeks, he’s happy! He goes out at night and comes back in the day. My mother cleans him, feeds him, and he goes downstairs to sleep. Rinse and repeat. It worked…. well, until it didn’t. 

We get the call one day from the local shelter that he’s been picked up, and he’s seriously injured. We rush to get him, his front leg is hurt bad and can barely walk. We take him back, my mother freaking out, and quite frankly so are we. So once again, he gets locked up in the house, and again, he was not having it. His meows were even worse now, to the point that my mother is even more mentally and emotionally distraught, and so is everyone else in the house. We need to figure out a solution to this issue and fast! He meows until he throws up, clawing at the doors and windows, going insane trying to escape. 

The Solution

The solution came when we happened to be in the hospital waiting to see the surgeon to speak about my recent knee surgery. We run into an old friend from work who owns a farm with his wife on a beautiful stretch of land in the country. We explain the issue and ask if they know anyone who would be willing to adopt this beautiful boy to be an indoor outdoor cat. They tell me they would but they already have way too many, but they will ask around

I get a text within a few days and they found someone! We were overjoyed at the news. Somewhere he can run free with his ears flapping in the wind, a home with people that will love him and give him everything he needs. They tell me there’s another cat he can play with and lots of farm animals so he’ll be making lots of new friends! Bittersweet, for sure. Sad that he will no longer be with us, but happy that he was going to a much better place. 

A few days go by, we are in contact with the woman who is going to adopt him setting things up. She’s ecstatic that she is going to get him, so much so that she drove out that night just to make sure we don’t change our mind. She picks him up, we’re all sad to see him go. Sadly I was unable to be there to say goodbye, but my wife was there to make sure everything went smoothly.

First day goes by and we get updates, he’s doing well, going in and out, enjoying his new life. Second day, same updates, everyone is happy he’s in the best place he can be. Third day the bad news came. He left and has not returned. Ok, no big deal, he’s been gone for a few days before and returned, so we’re not concerned. One day, turned into three, turned into a week. Its been a couple weeks now, and still no one has seen him. His new owner handed out flyers, spoke to all the neighbors, showed them pictures, put out the word to the entire area including the shelters and all the locals that come through. They even had a search party out looking for him! It’s a small community she is in so if he’s anywhere around, someone would have seen him and got word to her. Sadly, nothing. He is chipped so if he was at a shelter, we would have gotten the call. 

The Finally

Today, it hit me.  Lewis is no longer with on this mortal plane. It’s the only conclusion I can come to. I really hope I am wrong and maybe someone found him and now he’s being taken care of by someone else, but the sad reality is that the coyotes got him. I just picture his last moments on this earth, his eyes as he lays there being ravaged. It breaks my heart. I cant help that I am responsible for his demise. I thought I was doing the best thing for him, instead I sent him to his doom and he did not deserve it. 

There was something about this cat that was other worldly. His eyes as he looks into your soul, trying to figure you out. The way he just understood at a level I have never witnessed from some humans, let alone a cat. We always joked that he must have been a human reincarnated into cat form and he’s trying against all odds to be understood. Alas, we will never know what could have been. We tried so hard to make him happy, to give him a the best home we could, as much love as we could, but he was just never going to be happy unless he was free.

 

The Lesson

I realize now his purpose in my life, the reason we crossed paths, and the lesson he came to teach. 

Sometimes the thing you want to most out of life is the very thing you should never have. 

My whole life I have been chasing after money, baffled as to why it does not come in abundance. I pray for it, I ask the universe for it, I work hard for it, I start businesses and companies for it, I invent things for it, trade stocks for it, and yet it still eludes me! I try working directly on it only to discover that in order to be the person that gets it, I must grow the person I am, so I do. Years of self development courses, seminars, groups, coaches, mentors…. nothing! 

A couple years ago I was forced into a situation against my will and the only thing that would get me out was to pay my way out of it, does it come then to rescue me? NO. I get the money, but I had to plunge pretty deep in the hole for it, and now the overwhelming feeling of drowning is overtaking me. Ok, now I’ll get it right? NO. So I shake my fists at the heaven screaming WWWHHHYYYYY!?!?!?

Today, the answer came in the form of Lewis. He wanted to be free so bad he was relentless. He just would not give up no matter what. Day and night for days and weeks and months he meowed for his freedom, until he finally got it. Only for the very thing he wanted so badly in his life to end his life. There was no way to see the future, as freedom seems like the ultimate gift, right? What no one knew would be waiting for him when he got that freedom would be a pack of viscous wild coyotes ready and waiting to snatch the very thing he held dear away from him, the very life he was trying to free. 

Sometimes the thing we want so badly is the very thing we should never get. This lesson was too costly and I would never have consented to it had I known it would come this brutal way. But I can never let this lesson be in vein. I will cherish the moments we had, and forever hold him in my heart.

Lewis, I thank you from the bottom of my soul for what you have taught me. Your sacrifice will not be in vein my boy, your life will not end with a whimper, but a roar. Your lesson will be immortalized through me and everyone around me. Sadly, the most valuable lessons in life come at the steepest price, and this was no exception. 

Lewis I am truly sorry I did not see this coming. I let you down. I tried so hard to give you what you so badly wanted only to lose you in the process.

I will miss you, forever.